F Valentine's Day

The February Deficit

It’s a very specific brand of burnout that makes you flee the continent just to dodge a question you've already answered in your head. That’s the core of Mark Gantt’s *F Valentine's Day*, a rom-com that hides behind a cynical front before inevitably melting into a pool of sugary tropes. I’m not convinced this bait-and-switch actually pays off. It really comes down to how much patience you have for people who’d rather lie to everyone else than look at their own reflection.



Virginia Gardner stars as Gina, a woman whose bad luck includes sharing her birthday with the year's most commercialized holiday. The movie doesn't waste time establishing her grudge: a lifetime of shared gifts and red foil hearts instead of a day that's just hers. Gardner is actually the most interesting part of this. Coming off high-intensity survival movies like *Fall* and *Halloween*, she brings a nervous, tight-wound energy to a genre that’s usually much softer. You can see it in her body language when her well-intentioned but wrong-for-her boyfriend Andrew (Skylar Astin) gets romantic—she tenses up and starts scanning for the nearest exit like she's expecting a collision.

But Steve Bencich’s script, despite his background in animation, never quite figures out how to harness that prickly, defensive vibe. To escape Andrew’s obvious proposal plans, Gina fakes a Greek vacation and pulls in Johnny (Jake Cannavale), a local pizza guy, and his sister Mickey (Sabrina Bartlett) to act as buffers. The whole "everyone goes to the Mediterranean" plot hinge involves an accidental $5,000 tip on a heart-shaped pizza. It’s a thin excuse for a setup, one where you can almost feel the writer giving up in real-time.



Skylar Astin is stuck with the "wrong guy" role, which is always a bit of a thankless job. He does a good job leaning into Andrew’s oblivious, overly-earnest persona, though—the kind of guy who brings up Indiana Jones during a football conversation. He’s not a bad person, just the wrong fit for the life Gina wants. Cannavale plays the scruffy delivery guy well enough, but his chemistry with Gina feels more like it was ordered from a script menu than developed through any real emotional pull.

I kept hoping the movie would actually live up to the rebellious vibe of its censored title, but it keeps backing down. Reviewing for *ReelGood*, Derek Armstrong hit the nail on the head: "Paradoxically given its name, *F Valentine's Day* is quite sweet – which is not sufficient here to be a virtue." That’s the issue in a nutshell. It wants the edge of an "anti-rom-com" while clinging to every safety net in the book. Between the over-bright Greek sun, Marisa Tomei’s brief turns as the mom, and the self-created stakes, it all feels a bit too safe.



People don't watch rom-coms for the surprise ending; we watch to see how the characters handle the scary vulnerability of the journey. Gina’s pushback feels genuine at first—a real fear of being erased by someone else’s version of love. But eventually, the movie stops digging into what it actually takes to compromise and just coasts toward a shiny, expected finish. It’s like getting a perfectly wrapped gift that contains exactly what you thought was inside. It’s nice, sure, but part of me wishes they’d let things stay messy and honest for a bit longer.