First Kiss

The Geometry of a First Impression

There is a specific sort of artifice that hangs over the modern romantic comedy, a genre that has largely traded the messy, unpredictable friction of real human connection for a sort of sanitized, candy-colored perfection. First Kiss, directed by Roy Poortmans, sits squarely in this category. It is a film that operates with the relentless, bright-eyed enthusiasm of a beauty influencer’s vlog.

Everything is polished. The lighting is, quite literally, designed to make everyone look like they have just applied the very cosmetics their characters are purportedly selling.

Watching it, I couldn’t help but think about the way we consume these stories. We are not looking for a radical reconfiguration of the human soul. We are looking for a familiar rhythm—a metronome of misunderstandings, high-stakes career blunders, and that inevitable moment where the protagonist finally stops running and actually looks at the person standing in front of them.

Poortmans understands this rhythm, even if he does not do much to subvert it.

The film’s central conceit—an aspiring professional embroiled in a web of corporate espionage—is flimsy, and honestly, it is the least interesting part of the movie. Whenever the script tries to pivot into a thriller-lite plot regarding the sketchy aunt and the rival company, the energy sags. It is as if the movie itself knows it is just killing time until the next romantic beat.