Hannibal Buress: Comedy Camisado

Hannibal Buress steps onto the stage in Minneapolis to cheers and hip-hop music. He thanks the crowd and jokes about why he chose the city for his special. When asked why, he deadpans, "The rest of the country doesn't know this, but touring comedians know and recognize Minneapolis as one of the best cities to perform comedy in." He adds, "And also, four years ago, latestnetflix.com contends, I had a threesome here."

He reveals his glasses are fake, worn only for television comfort. "These are fake glasses," he says, removing them. "I got LASIK." He jokes about the procedure, saying, "Without my glasses, I sort of look like how Milhouse from The Simpsons looked like without his glasses." The crowd laughs as he continues, "I have very beady, shady little eyes."

He turns to the audience and points out a man in the balcony. "I can see that you're a real piece of shit," he says, drawing laughter. He jokes about the waiver he signed for the surgery: "If I went blind because of the surgery, they could just say, 'Sorry about that,' and that would be the end of it."

He jokes about aging, saying, "Thirty-two is a meaningless age." He complains about showing ID to get into bars, asking, "Do I look like I have the soul of a 20-year-old at all?" He tells a story about ordering Bloody Marys at a Minneapolis airport and being asked for ID. "Here's my ID, lady," he says. "Let's keep it moving."

He jokes about Stevie Wonder possibly not being blind, saying, "I think Stevie Wonder is blind. I just think it'd be funny if he wasn't." He imagines Stevie Wonder revealing he can see, which would inspire others to admit they're not blind either.

He jokes about turning 32 and not wanting to celebrate. "Thirty means something," he says. "Thirty is a milestone, it's worth celebrating. I'm not gonna celebrate... My friend's turning 30... 'Come to my 32nd birthday party!' No, you go to a dinner with one person and you go to bed."

He tells a story about losing his ID while touring and being able to fly domestically without it. At the Embassy Suites in Downey, California, he tries to check in with various documents but is refused. "You need a physical government ID!" the clerk says. He gets angry, shouting, "Is that what you're saying to me right now, you maniac?" The crowd cheers as he vents his frustration.

He jokes about inspiration, recalling a plane ride where a man watched Wipeout episodes. He decides his version of that is to tell people whose fly is down, "Let that shit go." He tells a story about a homeless man in Chicago telling him the same thing, and he responds, "Hey, man, your life is down."

He jokes about his father getting into The Wire late in life. "People find stuff when they find it," he says. He recalls discovering Jimi Hendrix because Hulk Hogan used to walk out to his music. "Turns out, Jimi Hendrix is dead, Hulk Hogan's a racist," he says, drawing laughter.

He jokes about not wanting kids, saying, "If my lady has triplets... we have to give one away." He imagines his sister's children as gifts he can enjoy temporarily. "They're like hookers for my sense of nurturing," he says.

He tells a story about filming a movie scene with a baby. The first two babies were white and performed poorly. The third baby was cool and did the job well. "He came in there a baby, he left a member of the Screen Actors Guild," he says.

He jokes about dating and sex, saying, "Sometimes, I find myself in a situation where a woman I'm seeing wants more than I'm willing to give." He uses a metaphor about currency to explain relationships. "Finding true love is about finding your Mexico," he says, drawing laughter.

He jokes about skepticism and flattery, saying, "There's an interesting energy around me sometimes when I'm skeptical of people." He imagines confronting someone who is overly giddy, asking, "What's going on here? Is this a setup? Did Bill Cosby send you or some shit?"

He jokes about the fallout from a Cosby joke he made, saying, "Who knew that an off-hand joke about Cosby raping would lead to me having amazing consensual sex across the country?" He jokes about gambling, saying he likes craps because "you can bet against the person that's rolling the dice."

He jokes about trying to play Russian roulette without anyone dying, suggesting they shoot an Xbox instead. "You get a lot of feelings from that," he says. He tells a story about a charity show in New York where posters sold for $8,500 each. "Seventeen grand for two posters!" he says. "That is fuck-you money, right there."

He jokes about wanting a stable business, saying he wants to start a gourmet deviled egg business or a liberal arts college. "Use that money to fund my next racket," he says. He jokes about needing a printer to run his businesses, saying, "That's the only difference between me and Kevin Hart. He has a printer and I don't."

He jokes about cell phones at shows, saying, "Everybody has cell phones. And people try to film." He tells a story about landing in Columbia, Missouri, and being recognized by a police officer. The officer asks to take a picture with him, and he reluctantly agrees.

He jokes about his cleaning lady bringing her kid to work, saying, "I'm 32, I live by myself. You can't just bring a kid into my world unannounced." He overhears the kid complaining about the couch being uncomfortable and thinks about the Fleshlight he once received as a gift.

He jokes about porn changing how he views situations, saying, "Any time a white couple in their 40s or 50s is really nice to me, I think it's 'cause the dude wants me to fuck his wife in front of him." He jokes about sports, saying, "Sports are so crazy. There's dudes that get paid millions of dollars just to talk about sports."

He jokes about baseball, saying, "I don't like baseball for those reasons." He praises steroids in sports, saying, "I love steroids. I'm flattered when athletes do steroids." He jokes about Lance Armstrong, saying, "How do you make any money riding a bike if you don't have a sandwich or a pizza you're delivering to somebody?"

He ends the set with a joke about his high school yearbook and thanks the crowd. "All right, good night, y'all," he says. "Thanks a lot!" The crowd cheers as hip-hop music plays and the host thanks him again.