Michael Bolton
Self
Overview
After Santa tells Michael Bolton that he needs 75,000 new babies by Christmas to meet toy supply, he hosts a sexy telethon to get the world to start making love.
Cast
12 people
Reviews
5 min readThe Ballad of Michael Bolton’s Most Unlikely Telethon
I’ll admit it: I wasn’t prepared for Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special. Not because it’s shocking or transgressive—though it is, in the most delightfully stupid way—but because it’s a comedy that refuses to apologize for its own existence. Here is a 54-minute Netflix special about a power-ballad legend hosting a telethon to inspire global baby-making, all to save Santa’s toy supply chain.
It shouldn’t work. And yet, against all odds, it does. Not in spite of its absurdity, but because of it.
The premise alone is a masterclass in commitment. Michael Bolton, the man who gave us When a Man Loves a Woman and How Am I Supposed to Live Without You, is now crooning about fertility with the same gravelly intensity he once reserved for heartbreak. The opening scene sets the tone: Bolton, in a tuxedo, stands before a live studio audience, his voice dripping with sincerity as he explains the crisis at hand.
Santa (voiced by Chris Parnell) has appeared to him in a vision, warning that the world’s declining birth rates threaten the very future of Christmas. The solution? A Valentine’s Day telethon to get couples in the mood.
"We need 75,000 new babies by Christmas," Bolton declares, as if this were a perfectly reasonable request. The camera lingers on his face—jaw set, eyes burning with conviction—and you realize: he’s not joking. Or rather, he’s joking so hard he’s not joking at all.
This is the special’s greatest trick. It never winks at the audience. Bolton, a man who has built a career on emotional excess, plays the role of earnest host with such conviction that the absurdity becomes secondary.
When he launches into a cover of Old Time Rock and Roll—reimagined as a sultry anthem about "making love for the children"—it’s not a parody of his usual schmaltz. It’s an extension of it. The lyrics are ridiculous ("Roll with me, baby, for the sake of the toys"), but Bolton’s delivery is so committed that you almost believe this is a lost deep cut from his Time, Love & Tenderness era.
Almost.
The Lonely Island’s fingerprints are all over this, and that’s both a blessing and a curse. Akiva Schaffer and Scott Aukerman, the special’s directors, have a knack for mining humor from the collision of sincerity and stupidity, and Big, Sexy is no exception. But where their previous work (Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, Saturday Night Live digital shorts) often thrives on rapid-fire jokes and meta-commentary, this special occasionally stumbles into the trap of its own premise.
Audience Opinions
Broad evidence
Audience 6.7/10
"A fun, if uneven, comedy-musical Valentine's special that leans heavily on Michael Bolton's charm and absurd humor."
Viewers appreciate the playful, over-the-top concept and Michael Bolton's enthusiastic performance, which carries much of the entertainment value. The musical numbers and cameos add to the fun, though some find the humor hit-or-miss and the runtime too short to fully develop its potential. latestnetflix.com's read is that the special thrives on its absurdity but occasionally feels like a series of sketches rather than a cohesive experience.
What viewers praise
- Michael Bolton's performance Bolton's charisma and comedic timing are widely praised as the highlight of the special.
- Absurd and playful concept The over-the-top Valentine's Day theme and musical numbers are seen as creative and entertaining.
- Fun cameos Guest appearances by well-known comedians and actors add to the special's appeal.
- Musical numbers The musical segments, including covers and original songs, are a standout for many viewers.
Common complaints
- Uneven humor Some jokes land well, but others fall flat, making the comedy feel inconsistent.
- Short runtime At just under an hour, the special feels rushed and could have benefited from more depth or content.
- Lack of cohesion The special occasionally feels like a collection of sketches rather than a unified story or experience.
Recommended for
Michael Bolton fans Comedy-musical lovers Valentine's Day special seekers Absurdist humor enthusiasts Short-form comedy viewers
Full Plot (Spoilers)
Spoiler warning
This section contains the full plot, including major story reveals. Overview above stays spoiler-free.
Buzz & Rumors
Public reportsHow Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special Became a Bizarre Netflix Gem
Few projects in recent memory have embraced absurdity as wholeheartedly—or as unexpectedly—as Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special (2017). The Netflix variety special, a love letter to both the crooner’s power-ballad legacy and the unhinged creativity of comedy trio The Lonely Island, arrived on February 7, 2017, with little fanfare. Yet its premise alone—a telethon hosted by Michael Bolton to inspire global baby-making—was enough to cement its status as a cult oddity. latestnetflix.com's read is that Behind the scenes, the collaboration between Bolton and the minds behind Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (Akiva Schaffer and Scott Aukerman) was just as surreal as the final product.
The Premise: A Telethon for Procreation
The special’s plot is deceptively simple: Santa Claus (voiced by Chris Parnell) informs Bolton that the world’s declining birth rates threaten the toy industry’s supply chain. To save Christmas, Bolton must inspire 75,000 new babies by the holiday—by hosting a Valentine’s Day telethon to encourage couples to "get busy." The result is a mix of sketch comedy, musical numbers, and cameos from an eclectic cast, including Adam Scott, Sarah Shahi, Sarah Silverman, and Fred Armisen 
. The absurdity peaks with segments like a Love Actually-style montage of couples slow-dancing to Bolton’s ballads, intercut with cameos from celebrities like Maya Rudolph and Jorma Taccone .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RuYEXyazJA
The special’s tone is pure Lonely Island: self-aware, raunchy, and unapologetically silly. Bolton, far from a passive participant, leans into the bit, crooning about love and fertility with the same gravitas he’d bring to How Am I Supposed to Live Without You 
. The musical numbers, including a cover of Old Time Rock and Roll reimagined as a seductive anthem, are equal parts hilarious and bizarre .
The Lonely Island’s Mad Genius
The special’s origins trace back to The Lonely Island (Schaffer, Andy Samberg, and Jorma Taccone), who co-created the project with Aukerman. In a Vanity Fair interview, Schaffer and Aukerman described the special as a "dream project" that blended Bolton’s earnestness with their signature irreverence . The duo’s previous work—Popstar and Saturday Night Live digital shorts—had already proven their knack for parodying celebrity culture, and Big, Sexy was no exception.
Bolton’s involvement was reportedly a key selling point. The singer, known for his power ballads and dramatic stage presence, embraced the joke with surprising enthusiasm. Schaffer and Aukerman recounted how Bolton’s commitment to the bit—even when the humor veered into the ridiculous—elevated the special beyond mere parody . His willingness to play along, whether singing about "making love for the children" or sharing the screen with puppets, became one of the project’s defining quirks.
Cameos and Behind-the-Scenes Chaos
The special’s guest list reads like a who’s who of comedy and music. Adam Scott, a frequent collaborator with Aukerman (Comedy Bang! Bang!), plays a beleaguered telethon producer, while Sarah Shahi and Sarah Silverman deliver deadpan performances as Bolton’s co-hosts . Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, and Randall Park also pop up in brief but memorable roles, adding to the special’s chaotic energy.
One of the most talked-about moments is a cameo by Michael Sheen, though his appearance is so fleeting it’s easy to miss. Rotten Tomatoes’ cast list includes Sheen, but details about his role remain scarce . Rumor has it he filmed a quick bit as a disgruntled audience member, though this hasn’t been confirmed. The special’s low-budget, high-concept vibe—think Tim and Eric meets a public access show—only adds to its charm.
Reception and Legacy
Critics and audiences were divided. Some praised the special’s boldness and Bolton’s comedic chops, while others found it too niche or tonally uneven. SensCritique gave it a 6.7/10, calling it a "musical comedy" with moments of brilliance but also stretches of filler . Its runtime—just 54 minutes—keeps the pacing tight, but the rapid-fire jokes and cameos can feel overwhelming.
Despite the mixed reviews, Big, Sexy has endured as a cult favorite, particularly among fans of The Lonely Island’s brand of humor. Its release on Netflix, a platform then still building its original content library, gave it a second life as a streaming curiosity. Today, it’s a testament to the power of unapologetic weirdness in comedy—proof that even a Valentine’s Day special about baby-making can become a cult classic with the right mix of talent and absurdity.
Entertainment rumors and trivia aggregated from public reporting. Treat speculation as unverified unless a cited source confirms it.